Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
