Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
