question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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