This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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