Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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