sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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