I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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