So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
