I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
