We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
