I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
