i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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