We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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