just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
