If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
