I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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