ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
