Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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