I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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