my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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