There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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