Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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