well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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