I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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