I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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