wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants