garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
