So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
