I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
