So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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