Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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