my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
