What a fucking waste of an outfit
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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