Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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