i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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