You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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