I feel like abortions should bother me more
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize