I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
