Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
