why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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