I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
