Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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