Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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