Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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