i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
