i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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