We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
