Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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