party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Its about making memories worth repressing
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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