I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize