I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
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Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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