Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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