mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
