the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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