no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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