we made out on top of his cat.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
