Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
