Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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