We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
high people should be assigned attendants
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
