Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
