Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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