yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
