I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
