i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
