I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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