Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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